there is salt
falling from the rooftops and scorching all the earth. my nana’s voice scratches furiously at the soil, begging her tongue to root, pleading for a home. she sings, and we are made quiet. vapor runs down our throats until our hearts have summoned rain. come come come, please. fill up this desert place.
i shake shame off of me but still, i am thirsty.
i trade my wants for needs but still, i am thirsty.
i pour tea for the wayfarers but still, i am thirsty.
why? because we all are friends, but belonging is circumstantial.
water is everlasting.
and more or less, the core will ask:
do you revere belonging over being free?
do you revere belonging over being free?
do you revere belonging over being free?
Published first on acuriousrevolition.wordpress.com
It’s a lot easier to make oneself lord of one’s life than I had originally reasoned. Amidst personal recessions, numerous setbacks and false starts, I have been broken enough that I might have this realization: pride is a daily fight for the Christian. More so, pride is a minute-by-minute struggle for the Christian who is too busy looking at the pride of other people. It is the most sour of tastes upon the tongue. Almost as if one were in a room full of people and suddenly discovered that the horrible smell they’d been scrunching their nose at and elaborating on excessively within the last 5 minutes was coming from them. Pride is a great conundrum, not least of all because the believer in God really should know better. And it is the most gyrating of subjects because it is the metaphorical gum that won’t come off the sole of my shoe no matter how viciously I kick and shake or how holy-looking the shoe is, unless I accept I am to scrape it off. Strip to basics.
Basic Point 1 (Please don’t expect a point 2 or 3 I only have point 1 of 1 today, thanks) : Pride is often linked to our dreams/ambition.
You ought to know that you mightn’t be your best yet, but there is still fresh grace lavished upon you from God that you might be better. A speaker recently shared a notion with me. What if one were to ask God what on earth (pun intended…or not..awkward) one should do with one’s life and He were to answer, “Do whatever!” ????
That just blows my mind. Sometimes it’s too easy to get caught up trying to live according to a tried and tested method. Fact is, I can’t be anyone else but the me God calls me to be and you can’t be anyone else but the you God calls you to be and that’s the best way for life to go. It is the most fulfilling and the most peaceful and the most exciting! In Jesus there is adventure and power and oh, such great love!!!!!!! That means, that as long as I have accepted Him as my Lord and rejected myself , and so long as I will put the glory of God over the glory of ‘me’, I have the right to live in freedom because He has set me free. I have the freedom to be greater than I could ever dream!
I look around me and I see a lot of people as frightened of themselves as I have been in the past, because they are incessantly comparing themselves to people before them and how those other people are living their own lives. They are so engrossed in measuring up to another human’s standards/following what is popular that they entirely miss the blessing. But if I can’t trust God with the ‘unorthodox’ gifts or quirks He gave me, how can I truly and happily live? It’s like attempting to build a car from scratch with no manual and no experience. Yikes.
Do whatever = Do not limit yourself because you think it does God or yourself any favors. Stay prayerful, humble, obedient to His word. And
so full of questions
are the stars
when all your eyes ever did was to trust them.
I had an especially bad day and was feeling low in myself and on life. When lying in bed began to feel ridiculous, I got up and decided cooking would be the best option for my sanity. Never mind that it was past dinner time, to cook a meal was the imperative mission. Besides, i’m a medical student and our body clocks are confused at least half the year anyway (think jet lag without the luscious holiday).
I was in my kitchen, trying hard not to think about the disappointments of the day and to be honest, just trying not to crumble because ain’t nobody got time fuh dat.
Anyway (my mind is tangent-prone),
I put some worship music on and as I fuddled away in the kitchen I started to speak out faith in God’s plan for me. I let myself be comforted by the knowledge that there was something being done here, and even though I wasn’t sure I 100% believed what I was saying (reality checks/disappointments are heavy ol’ things), I knew that my Spirit was being guided by truth and I had only listen to what words were coming from me. By this time, I had started to cry. You know, tears down the face at a gravity-elaborating rate. All of that. And then I felt God ask me “Why are you crying?” and I broke down and sobbed like a baby, whining about all the reasons why my life sucks (it really doesn’t, but I’m a PMS-ing woman at the moment so allow me to exaggerate). When I’d finished un-dignifying myself with my hysteria, He asked me another question:
"Is that all?"
I was on a roll so of course I carried on. When I had finished, I felt marginally better at first. My eyes were stinging because my eye liner had obviously gotten the shock of it’s life and smeared itself all up in my orbit, and my nose was running (flashback to my baptism some months ago at church) but then I paused and realized the hilarity of the situation and I smiled. God is such a Dad and that was such a father-daughter moment. His encouragement to me was to remember that He is God. Not was, not will be, He simply is. And that is something to be hopeful about every single day. It gives me huge, miraculous prospects to look forward to. As I let that sink in for a couple more minutes, un-chopped onions before me, God placed another thing on my heart. Out of the blue, He commanded me to let a specific friend of mine know that he is loved and treasured by the Father. I hesitated for a micro-second because this is a friend who has openly rejected God and Christianity and his blatant disrespect had wounded me on several occasions..I just wasn’t sure how he’d take the news that the God he thought he knew and then rejected loved Him. Still, I did it anyway.
And it was after that that I felt better and more at peace.
It is perhaps the most mind-blowing thing, realizing that our God calls us to be unselfish in our love for other people…even when we are in some sort of pain. Love and obedience, they heal. And for the person in true fellowship with God, there should be a security in knowing that His love transcends our circumstances. The sort of security that empowers us to still share His love despite our circumstances, despite the logic. He’s got me. And I can cry and weep and grumble all I like, that security will not change. His response was sort of a ‘Yo. I’ve already got you. Now go tell somebody else in need that I love them.’ So that’s exactly what I did.
And now I could salsa all over my house because i’m lighter of heart and the house smells good (yes, managed to get the onions chopped after all and all the rest of it).
P.S. : Have you had a similar experience lately? Share: email@example.com / tweet @iamsutra
there are things about us we are too afraid to trample on
like twigs and loss and living
when our mouths are the sort to kiss death
because the world was watching.
:) Thank you for reading!
'do you know how to swim?' the moon asks. my spine creaks uncomfortably at the odd voice: pale, pelting and deep. i heave my eyelids open and shake my head no. no, i do not swim because i am not a swimmer nor even a floater. i am what i tell the silence to tell me; ornamental. a decoration for life. something that makes the earth more able to bear herself.
besides the confusion,
i am merely afraid
that people expect more water of me, than i have to refresh them.
I feel like I can achieve anything. It’s a crazy outpouring, sprouted where I myself had planted disbelief and watched a packload of anxiety drying out whatever fertile ground was left. I feel at peace and re-centred and reassured; the complete opposite of recent times. It follows a weekend away with other students from my church, worshipping, socializing (which has taken a lot more effort for me recently), learning more about Jesus and from one another and experiencing the Spirit of God. Experiencing real peace.
How many of us actively pursue peace? How often do we question where ours has gone? Why it has gone?
Have we, in the chaotic routines of our lives, succumbed to a belief that peace is an occasional sensation, spared for yoga, substituted by (at times minimal) sleep and supernaturally fleeting? And when our peace leaves us in a season, do we wave it goodbye? Have we come to a place where our lives seesaw between peace and unpeace and we’re alright with that?
People might wonder why it is I am a Christian. Simplistically, there is a sense of peace that I have found, unparalleled to any other. And I believe this to be an almost primitive response to God. Like a hand withdrawn from a scalding pot in reflex. Before there is diction, before there is surrender, is there not first peace? Even if not elaborately so, one that brings us beyond a point of disconnection and disillusion to that where we find we can step outside of ourselves and seek His face. Peace is a reality we should seek to immerse ourselves in daily. At work, at play and all the rest of it. For it is the quickest thing to go in our trials and when we’re too busy.
It’s probably worth mentioning that I refer to a transcending peace, from an eternal source. One which guides our interactions with people, our work ethic, our ambition, our relationships, our management of our time.